February 2024 - The Spiral Of Negativity Starts
I'm trying to keep a positive mindset, whilst being suffocated by misfortune
2024 started on a positive note, I had come up with plans to turn my life around. This was going to be the year that I escaped the rat race.
I had been working a dead end job as a corporate security officer since 2013. A number of unfortunate events had driven me to the lowest point in my life.
I was suicidal back in 2003 and suffered from clinical depression after being involved in a road traffic accident (car crash). My family were seriously injured, I was also injured, more mentally than physically.
It is hard for people to related to your mental state, they cannot see any visible injuries. I had some support from my extended family to help me get through the first few weeks… then it was all left to me to deal with.
I was not in the right state of mind to deal with what had happened to me. My father was very supportive, but he passed away suddenly after a few months. I felt all alone, there was no one there to support me.
Before the accident, I was an outgoing person and got along with everyone. I was confident and believed in myself.
All this collapsed after the accident and my father passing away. I turned into an introvert and lost my self-confidence and the belief in my abilities.
The above is just a little glimpse into my past. I still have not managed to let go of the memories these unfortunate incidents.
One Thing After Another
Just before the pandemic I made plans to transform my life, but the pandemic had other plans. We had to work full-time during the pandemic, whilst most people stayed at home and got paid.
It looked as if our lives were not important. Thankfully, I managed to get through the pandemic. I was not able to escape the trading time for money trap, but I still had a job that kept me going.
Back in December 2023, I started making plans to enable me to quit my job as a security officer. It was all going well until the middle of February 2024.
The plan was to build a monthly passive income of over $5,000 using the internet, so that I could quit my current employment.
I could only work on this on a part-time basis, as I was working extremely hours as a security officer. I struggled to set everything up using the limited time and money that was available.
During the middle of February I fell really ill and had to take time off work. This put a lot of strain on my finances and I started to get depressed. My health along with my income had depreciated significantly.
I tried to put on a straight face, but I was feeling the strain on my body, physically as well as mentally.
Every time I start making progress towards transforming my life for the better, I get struck by a series of unfortunate events. My plans get shattered and I end up depressed and feeling desperate.
Can I Break This Cycle Of Negativity?
I know that I can break this cycle of negativity, but I don’t know what’s stopping me. I have started reading books on personal development to transform my mindset.
The problem is with my mindset, as I am able to pick up skills rapidly and have the necessary resources to fund the ventures.
Everything starts going smoothly and suddenly things start to fall apart. Something from the past is holding me back from transforming my lifestyle.
I don’t know how this newsletter is going to help me escape the rat race. I don’t have any products or services to sell.
I am currently working on transforming my mindset and believe that I will find a way to get out of the trading time for money trap.
I will be applying what I learn to transform my life and pass on the knowledge to all my subscribers.
Working on my mindset can be a really lonesome process. I will appreciate your feedback to keep me going. Subscribe to my newsletter and leave your thoughts in the comments.
I see that the most popular newsletters on Substack are on politics, news and food. I hope that I can make an impact with this newsletter by sharing my personal development journey and everything to do with creating a better lifestyle.
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I am putting in a large portion of my spare-time into this newsletter, one day it will become a leading newsletter in the field of personal development and mind science.
All I can say is keep fighting for what you want. As long as we keep trying in life, we will never fail. This comes from someone who struggled with depression and other mental illnesses for years.
Sending you heartfelt hugs. It is so challenging dealing with traumatic mind weasels from the past, especially when shrouded with grief.